We spend our entire lives accumulating houses, cars, furniture, trinkets. Things we convince ourselves we need to feel secure, successful, seen. 

We fill closets, attics, and storage units with relics of our existence.. But when life ends, when we take our last breath, all that remains is…stuff. And what happens then? The ones grieving our absence, the people we loved the most, are the ones left to sift through it all.

I see it every day in my work with inherited properties. 

The phone rings, and it’s the son or daughter of a client who has passed away. Their voices are tired, overwhelmed. They need help clearing out their parent’s home, a home filled with decades of belongings that once meant something but now only represent a massive, expensive task. 

And the reality? Most of it can’t be sold. 

Estate sales are sobering. Families quickly realize that the furniture, the knick knacks, the endless boxes of stored-away belongings don’t hold value. The kids usually take some sentimental items- the old watch, a wedding ring, a favorite chair- and the rest? Donated, trashed, or sold for pennies on the dollar.

What was it all for?

How Stuff Becomes Our Identity

Some cling to possessions because they are tangible. 

Unlike experiences, things feel solid, permanent. They are proof that we were here, that we built something, that we mattered. That old set of china, the bookshelf filled with worn paperbacks- each thing carries the weight of a moment, a relationship, a part of ourselves. 

But at some point, the things we own can begin to own us. 

The house that was once a dream becomes an anchor. The possessions that once held joy become obligations. The spaces that should be filled with love become overrun with things.

And when we go, those we love the most are left to untangle the mess. 

Not just the physical mess, but the emotional weight of it all- the questions of what to keep, what to let go, and the guilt that often comes with making those choices. It is in those moments that we realize: the things we spent a lifetime collecting were never really about us. They were placeholders, standing in for the deeper connections we longed for, the relationships we either nurtured or neglected, the love we gave or withheld. 

Lessons From a Career Spent Clearing Out Lives

As a real estate expert, specializing in complex transactions involving divorce, death, probate, etc., my career has made me detached from “things” and deeply attached to the present moment. 

I’ve seen too many families agonizing over what to do with their parents’ belongings, not because they want them, but because they feel guilty letting them go. I’ve seen siblings fight over the same two or three items while everything else is discarded without a second thought. And it makes me think:

How much of our lives do we waste chasing things that, in the end, won’t matter? 

We spend our time working for bigger homes, more stuff, another purchase to wrap our identity in. But when it’s all said and done, the only things that truly matter are the moments we shared, the love we gave, and the people we leave behind.

For those who want to shift their focus from possessions to presence, here are a few ways to start.

How to Start Living with Less and Loving More

1. Declutter With Purpose

Instead of holding onto things for the sake of it, ask yourself: “If I were gone tomorrow, would my loved ones cherish this, or would it be a burden?” Start letting go of the items that no longer serve a purpose in your life.

2. Keep What Holds Meaning, Not What Holds Space

When helping families sort through estates, I see this truth over and over. Grieving families only keep a handful of items that hold deep sentimental value. Instead of saving everything, choose a few meaningful objects and let go of the rest.

3. Invest in Experiences, Not Just Things

Instead of buying more stuff, focus on creating memories. A trip with your family, a special sporting event with a loved one, the experience of checking something off the bucket list. These are the things that will be remembered, not the things collecting dust on a shelf.

4. Have the Tough Conversations Now

One of the hardest parts of handling an estate is making decisions when emotions are running high. Talk with your loved ones now. Ask them what items matter most to them, and make a plan for your belongings before you’re gone.

5. Simplify Your Space to Make Room for What Matters

A cluttered home can lead to a cluttered mind- and stress. In fact, significant research indicates a strong link between clutter and stress, including elevated cortisol levels. By simplifying your surroundings and living with the things that truly matter, you create more space for peace, presence, and connection. 

Let Us Lighten the Load

If you’re navigating the overwhelming process of handling an inherited property, you don’t have to do it alone. 

Our team takes care of everything, from cleanout to renovations to prepping for the market and getting it sold.  When we’re on your team, you can focus on what truly matters: honoring your loved one’s legacy and finding peace in the next chapter. 

Reach out today so we can help you make this transition as smooth as possible. You can schedule a complimentary discovery call here: alexarosario.com/consult