Do you remember walking into the high school cafeteria and that moment of scanning the room, instantly sensing who your people were… and who clearly weren’t?

Some faces lit up and welcomed you in. Others sent a silent message: This table isn’t for you.

Working in professional services can feel eerily similar.

As women navigating these spaces, we’re often still scanning the room, identifying who’s willing to offer a seat, who’s quietly cheering us on, and who might be putting up silent barriers to our advancement. Just like back in that high school cafeteria, it’s critical early in our careers to figure out who’s truly in our corner.

But it’s more important, as we rise in our career, to be the woman who says: Pull up a chair. And here’s why.

The Mentors Who Saw Me

As I’ve advanced in my career, I’ve had the privilege of learning from some truly pivotal mentors — the kind who didn’t just help shape me professionally, but personally, too.

The people who made the biggest impact on my growth were always the ones who were interested in me as a whole person, and not just my title or performance. They helped me navigate the complex challenges that women often face as our careers grow alongside expanding families and evolving personal responsibilities. They asked about my hobbies and took interest in the things that motivated and inspired me. They made it a point to connect me with professionals who shared similar passions, creating an organic, powerful synergy that made work feel deeply human- not transactional.

These mentors not only provided honest feedback as well as actionable growth steps, but they followed up on my progress, not because they were going through the motions and checking a box on their to-do list, but because they had a vested interest in watching me grow and develop.  

They never found my enthusiasm for my career a threat, but rather the opposite. They loved the passion I brought to the office every day, and encouraged my authentic self to flourish. Ultimately, they offered something beyond mentorship: they offered sponsorship. And that sponsorship became a critical bridge as I moved through various levels of my career.

Then There Were the Others

For every person who supported me, there have been just as many, if not more, who didn’t.

Some of those people taught me valuable lessons, just not in the way they might think. They showed me who not to become when I reached their level of success.

We all encounter these individuals- colleagues, clients, or just passive observers. They’re the ones who, knowingly or not, place extra hurdles in our path. Sometimes I like to believe they don’t mean to. Maybe that’s just my optimism showing. But the truth is, I’ve come to learn that these individuals often feel threatened by our energy, ambition, and power.

Some of them cling to the belief that every generation has to suffer the same way they did. That if they had it hard, we should too. Maybe they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be on the lower rungs of the ladder, or maybe they never had to face the same personal and professional obstacles that many juggle today. Or maybe it’s something more personal. Insecurity. Pettiness. A superiority complex that says, I had to figure it out, so why should I help you?

These are the people who hoard their knowledge, guard their influence, and rarely offer support. And the impact? Real and damaging. These dynamics can hold us back from growth, the kind that results in being passed over for opportunities we’re working hard for.

Sometimes, this mindset and resistance comes from the very people who manage us. I still remember a moment early in my career when I was called into HR because a colleague complained I was “too happy” in the mornings. Too upbeat. Too positive. I was showing up on time, greeting my coworkers with a smile and a simple “good morning” — and that, apparently, was a problem.

Yes, it sounds ridiculous. But those experiences are real. And for me, they serve as reminders of the kind of leader I never want to be.

Reflection Is a Responsibility

If you’ve achieved any level of success in your career, I invite you to pause and reflect:

Who helped you get here?

Who identified your potential before you even had the words for it?

Who made room for you at their table?

Now, I invite you to ask yourself, how are you doing that for others?

Whether you’re a new hire or nearing retirement, you have the power to shape someone else’s path. Maybe it’s mentoring a recent grad. Maybe it’s advocating for a colleague who reminds you of your younger self. Maybe it’s something as simple as offering support to someone who’s clearly still searching for a place to belong.

Too often, we fall into the trap of saying, “Well, I had to figure it out on my own.”
But is that really the legacy we want to leave?

What if the next generation of women didn’t have to miss every soccer game or dance recital to prove their commitment to the job? What if they didn’t have to dim their light or shrink their personalities just to be taken seriously? What if we gave them more than just advice; what if we gave them real opportunity?

Imagine how far they could go. Imagine how much stronger our workplaces would be if we simply choose to show up for each other.

What Will You Do With Your Seat at the Table?

As a professional, you can decide to lead and make yourself available to mentor and coach the upcoming talent. If you’re in middle management, invest in the newer members on your team. Strive to offer more than encouragement, but tangible support that helps them reach their next promotion. And if you’ve reached a senior level, your leadership is even more critical. It’s up to you to “show what it looks like” and actively bring the next generation of leaders along with you. We can’t afford to hoard growth opportunities. We can’t let ego or fear stop us from developing others.

Yes, landing a new client or bringing forward a great idea may boost your individual metrics, but imagine the impact of those wins if you collaborated with an emerging professional and taught her how to do the same. You’re not just making your own impact- you’re multiplying it. You’re strengthening your team, your culture, and the entire business. All while building your legacy.

And more importantly, you're sending a critical message: You're welcome here.

It’s important to remember this isn’t about checking a box. We shouldn’t mentor just because it’s good for business (even though it is). We should do it because it matters. Because someone once did it for us. Because people thrive when they feel seen, supported, and invited to the table- not just tolerated at its edge.

So, think about the leaders who saw your talent early, the mentors who offered a lifeline when you were still finding your footing. Think about those small but powerful moments that shaped your path.

As women, we carry both the privilege and the responsibility to open doors for each other. To make space. To provide tools. To champion success that doesn’t come at the cost of authenticity or joy.

We need to remember high school lunchroom etiquette and provide a warm welcome to those standing alone, tray in hand, looking for a place to sit.