Ever stayed quiet while watching a bully do their thing?
Or worse, been on the receiving end of that nonsense yourself?

Yeah. Same.

For a long time, I thought that if you were chasing a big goal—something noble, ambitious, maybe even world-changing—you had to put up with a little bullying along the way. I told myself: This is just how it works. Power comes with a side of BS.

I’m the daughter of a former City Councilor, a career investment manager turned philanthropic community leader, and a lifelong observer of all the games people play. I’ve seen it in politics. I’ve seen it in corporate. I’ve seen it in community circles. But here's the truth:

Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s okay.And honestly? I’m done being quiet.

I've heard too many brave women in this beautiful, soul-fueled community speak up about times they’ve been silenced. Stories about parents, partners, bosses, and colleagues. We've cried, we've laughed, we've nodded a little too hard because we’ve all been there. We’ve shared. And in that sharing, we’ve felt seen and heard. We’ve grown stronger.

So now, in this chapter of my life, I speak. Loudly. Boldly. And sometimes with rhinestones.

Enter: my signature bedazzled microphone.

Originally bought as a prop for a speaking engagement to emphasize my mic-drop moment (yes, really), it’s taken on a life of its own and become something more. My calling card. My sassy sidekick. My inner Oprah. (Fun fact: in the late '80s, telling a corporate recruiter that Oprah was your role model? Not a vibe. But she was mine.) 

It’s become a symbol, for me and so many others.

That mic gave me the nudge I needed. The permission to say out loud the things I’ve only ever thought or whispered. Now, I use my voice, I speak my truth—on stage, at events, on podcasts, in meetings, in grocery store lines, at home, wherever the moment calls for it. And guess what? It feels amazing.

Because when you're using your voice, there’s a kind of magic armor that forms around you and causes those bullies to pause- or become completely dismantled.

I call it the Integrity = Teflon effect.

Because when you own your voice with confidence and clarity, it disrupts the power dynamic bullies rely on. They expect silence, shame, or compliance. But when you shift the focus and speak up, especially with authenticity and conviction, it signals that you’re not an easy target. 

That unexpected resistance throws them off their game. And that opens the door to alternative outcomes and possibilities. That’s how using your voice can change your trajectory.

Resistance doesn’t have to be bold or forceful. It can also be subtle, graceful, and tactical.

So, what should you do the next time you’re faced with a bully?

Here’s how I use my voice to completely shift the energy, reclaim my power, and remind everyone, especially myself, that respect isn’t optional.  

1. Lead with curiosity.

‍Try: “That’s an interesting point of view. Can you walk me through it? I see things differently, so maybe there’s something we can both learn here.”

Yes, I know it takes restraint. But this isn’t about shrinking yourself. It’s about showing up with grace and openness. And who knows, the bully might accidentally say something useful (though probably wrapped in sass and vinegar!). And who knows, you might be surprised by the response. Sometimes, even the hardest conversations can foster unexpected bridges.

2. Set the stage.

Say up front: “Once I’ve heard you out, I’d like a chance to share my perspective too.”

Then follow through and deliver it! Calm, clear, and collected. If they start spiraling, you're allowed to step back. “This isn’t a conversation I’m willing to continue if it turns disrespectful.” Boundaries, baby.

3. Remember who you are.

You have purpose. You’re here for something big. You have gifts to share, a voice to use, and people to uplift. Don’t let a loudmouth shrink your shine. Whether you’re taming a real-life bully or silencing the one that lives in your head, stand tall.

And when in doubt? Grab hold of your mic. Bedazzling, optional.

Find your token of courage, empowerment, or truth- the thing that reminds you of your sparkle, your purpose, and who you are when the pressure hits. Let it anchor you, steady you, and guide you as you use your voice.

Speak up anyway.
Drop your truth.
And walk away with sparkle.

That’s the move. Step into life’s mic drop moments because they spark every bold journey, every ripple of change, and every story worth telling.